Why not to mix immortals and Buffy's
by mooseko
Summary: Crossover of make a wish and Buffy
1. Chapter 1

a/n This is a plot bunny that has been running around my head for a few months. Will be a crossover with mr black from make a wish and the first chapter of back in black

* * *

Xander groaned awake Saturday morning with his head feeling like a troll took a hammer to it."This must be Excedrin headache #15 - 'Getting out of bed' - Why didn't they just shoot me?" Taking 2 pain killers dry he pads into the bathroom to get ready for school. I really need to keep a supply of those things on me when I'm out." He glances at the mirror. "What the hell!" Instead of his normally dark hair he finds he has shoulder length blonde hair. Staring into the mirror trying to get his brain in gear the memories slowly come back.

* * *

/flashback

* * *

Xander smiles as he finds the last piece he needs to finish his costume for tonight. He had borrowed Buffy's cheerleader outfit, well, 'borrowed', is debatable as he didn't ask to borrow it. He went to Ethan's to find a blonde wig to go with it otherwise this wouldn't work. The others don't know what he is planning, so it will be a big surprise.

Answering the door, Joyce finds a tall blonde standing there. "Hi mom I'm home," she hears from the newcomer.

Joyce raises her eyebrow at this. "Oh really? And who might you be?"

"Don't you recognize me mom? It's Buffy," she says with a grin.

Joyce smiles at him "Nice try Xander, I know its you." She steps back and leaves a space for Xander to enter.

Buffy moves regally down the stairs to find her mother and the waiting blonde Xander, who is dressed in a cheerleader uniform from Hemery High. "So that's where that my cheerleader uniform went." smirks Buffy. "Wow Xan, you look like you can join the squad. You better not have stretched it out."

"No worries Buff it will be returned as good as I borrowed it. Where's Willow?"

"Shes upstairs getting her boo on. No amount of convincing would change her mind about wearing it.

* * *

Buffy shook her head to rid herself of the dizzy spell *what the hell was that?* Looking around to get her bearings she sees that she isn't where she is supposed to be and finds herself surrounded by a small group of demons getting ready to attack. Kicking out she sends one flying back into a car where it is knocked unconscious followed by a punch to another that sends it running away. The others, seeing this, decide to find easier prey.

"I really need to find the others." She heads towards Mrs. Henderson's house where she had been with the kids. Willow approaches after a couple blocks

"Thereyouare.I' ,thekidsandIturnedintoourcost umesandnowehaveabunchoftinyd emonsrunningaroundandnowI'maghostweneedtofindBuffy "

"Willow, slow down, breathe. What do you mean we've gotta find me? You're talking to Buffy!"

As this is her first time speaking since she woke up, she notices that her voice sounds different, deeper more masculine. This realization hits her at the same time Willow responds.

"Xander, quit playing around. We need to find Buffy she will know what to do."

*oh shit!*

"Uh, Willow I'm NOT joking, I'm not Xander, I'm Buffy."

"Eeep! Xander must have turned into his costume Remember he dressed up as you for a joke?"

"Oh god! You mean that I'm in his body?! If I'm here, who's driving mine around?"

Willow looks worried as she remembers the 18th century noblewoman's dress Buffy picked to wear for Angel. It was a beautiful dress, and she could understand why it was picked. But the womon waking up to this mayhem is gonna be freaked.

"We gotta find her!" Willow says as she runs in the direction that she last saw her. Following quickly behind Buffy hopes her body is okay.

"Whoever is responsible for this, I'm so gonna kick their ass!" seethed Buffy.

"Don't forget to hit whoever it was for me too, Buffy."

"Willow!" Buffy exclaims with a smirk.

Willow looks at her. "Well, whoever did this did kinda ruined our Halloween."

"Demon!" Elizabeth cries out as a car approaches. Hearing the scream Buffy and Willow find the woman hiding in some bushes huddlng in fear.

"Who are you and why are you screaming?" Buffy asks.

The woman grabs onto Buffy. "My name is Elizabeth and it was a demon! It was going to eat me!"

Rolling her eyes, Buffy tells her, "It's all right you're safe now, we have you."

"Well, my father will reward you for protecting me from the demons. I really must get home. Can you help me?"

"We can protect you until you can get home"

"We should go to your house, Buffy, it would be safer than here," Willow says.

"Only my dad is allowed to call me Buffy, harlot.

Willow glares at Elizabeth. "I'm not a harlot!"

"Let's get to my house, it should be safer." Buffy says as she heads towards her house, bringing Elizabeth with her. Arriving at her house minutes later after dealing with a few minis along the way, Buffy takes them all inside. "Good thing mom isn't home tonight."

Buffy barricades the doors while Willow keeps an eye out, hoping things get back to normal soon.

Deciding that Giles needs to know about this, Buffy calls the library. "Hey, Giles, it's Buffy."

"Xander, why are you impersonating Buffy? I know it's Halloween but it's not funny."

"I'm not kidding. People that dressed up are turning into their costumes. I'm looking at my body standing on the other side of the room while I talk to you!"

"Good Lord!" Buffy can hear him cleaning his glasses."Where are you?"

"We made it to my house and barricaded ourselves in."

"Don't go anywhere, I will be right over."

A loud noise from the kitchen has Buffy running to stop whatever is trying to come in. A bunch of small demons have kicked in the door and have entered the kitchen followed by Angel, who is fighting them.

Buffy joins the fight and they finish knocking out the minis.

"Angel!" Buffy runs to him and hugs him tightly.

Pushing him away, Angel says,"Xander! What are you doing? Get away from me!"

Buffy looks slightly hurt before she remembers. "Oh yeah, I'm in Xander. People became their costumes and Xander dressed up as me for a joke and now I'm wearing his body.

Angel stands there with a surprised look on his face. "Buffy?"

* * *

Driving as fast as his ancient car can go, willing it to move faster, Giles hopes everyone will be alright when he gets to Buffy's. Avoiding mini demons and various other nightlife that seem to be coming out, he manages to make it there without killing anything. It wouldn't do to accidentally kill a child.

Buffy hears his car pull up goes out to meet him "He's here," she says on the way out.

"Giles, help me!" Cordelia screams as she runs up to his car."Jojo the dog-faced boy is trying to hump my leg or something!"

Buffy uppercuts the thing that looks like a sasquatch, knocking it back a dozen yards. It looks at her in fear and runs away as fast as possible.

"Dweeb boy, why are you fighting like Buffy!?"

"Cordelia, that's because I am Buffy. We went to Ethan's and bought stuff, and because of this I need a shave and have a hankering for a Twinkie. I really don't want to have to shave! This is so not happening."

"Well I guess I should be glad I went to Party Town."

Giles interjects, Did you say, 'Ethan's'?"

Buffy nods.

"Bollocks!" Giles growls out. "I really need to have a chat with that prat."

Willow looks at Giles, "Do you know him, or something?"

"Never mind that now, we need to get to Ethan's costume shop."

Elizabeth screams, "No! Demon! I'm not going to let it eat me!", running away as Angel escorts her to the car.

"Great!" Buffy says. "Just what we need. Giles, go to Ethan's and deal with this mess, we need to find her."

"I'm coming with you Xander. I'm not gonna ride in that sorry excuse for a car."

Giles sputters "I'll have you know..."

"Not now, Giles, we can talk about what a fine automobile the Rust Master is after we get back to normal," says Buffy.

The three of them run after Elizabeth.

* * *

Giles approaches the front of the store."I am really going to enjoy this," cracking his knuckles in anticipation of what's to come. Sneaking into the backroom where Ethan is sitting Giles sucker punches him in the kidney, knocking him off his stool.

"Hello Ripper, long time no see," Ethan manages to gasp out.

"Too soon for my liking you ponce. How do we stop the spell?!"

"Oh, I'm not going to tell until you say pretty please," smirks Ethan.

"Brilliant." Kicking him in the side, Giles works him over, letting Ripper come out.

"HOW do you end the spell," he asks again, kicking Ethan in the stomach.

"The bust, break the bust!" Ethan cries out, defeated.

Over on the table is a large bust of the Roman God, Janus. Giles picks it up and throws it across the room shattering it. The shockwave knocks him out, when awakes he finds Ethan has gone.

* * *

Angel, Cordelia, and Buffy search for Elizabeth. "I can't believe she ran off like that," Buffy gripes.

"Well, you did say your body was possessed by an 18th century noblewoman, so I think that her freaking out over cars is to be expected," snarks Cordelia

"I know, it just makes me look bad."

"Don't worry Buffy, we'll find her," replies Angel

"What do we have here? Slayer!" Spike says as he steps out of the shadows, grabbing Elizabeth, who is cowering in the bushes.

"Don't hurt me!" Elizabeth screams, trying to get away from Spike's grip on her arm.

"Don't worry pet, I wont hurt you. Much," he tells her, getting snickers out of the minis and couple of other vampires that he managed to talk into coming out with him.

"My father will pay well for my safe return. What is a slayer?"

Spike laughs "I think I'm gonna have fun, first, I'm gonna turn you, then I'm gonna let you eat your friends."

"Did you hear that, Buffy? It sounded like a scream, that way," Angel says, running towards the scream followed by Buffy and Cordelia.

"Shit, Spike has her! We need to stop him!" Picking up a rock off the ground Buffy throws it at Spike, nailing him in the forehead and getting his attention."Hey, overbite, why don't you pick on someone your own size"

"Oh, droopy, you mean like you?"

Angel smiles.

"You are so gonna get your ass kicked, Spike," Cordelia says.

"What? By him? Sniffing in Buffy's girly stuff? I don't think so."

Buffy pulls out a stake and runs it thru Spike's chest before he realizes what is happening. Spike dusts with a look of shock on his face. Growling,the mini demons run away, leaving 3 vampires that look like they are bout to piss themselves. Buffy quickly stakes them and they collect Elizabeth.

Just then the shockwave hits Buffy and she's knocked out.

* * *

/end flashback

* * *

Splashing his face with cold water, Xander says,"Gotta be a dream. Gotta be." Looking again he sees that he still has blonde hair. Quickly getting dressed, not noticing that his clothes seem a bit bigger on him than they were before, he rushes to the library. "Giles will know what to do."

Xander enters the library, "G-man are you here?"

"Yes, I am and I really wish you wouldn't call me that dreadful name, Xander. You seem to be upset, what is going on?"

"Well, you know how last night when everyone was turned into their costumes, and Buffy became Lady Useless and I became Buffy?!"

"Yes, I do seem to remember something about that," Giles snarked back.

"I remember everything."

Giles nearly drops his teacup. "What!? What do you mean, everything?"

"I remember Buffy meeting Willow, finding Elizabeth, twice, and dusting Spike. Oh I also remember Buffy's last 10 birthdays as well as sordid details of her life and real opinions of everyone around her. In other words, I remember everything about Buffy. But that's not all." He gets the crowbar in the book cage and twists it into a pretzel.

"Good Lord!" Giles exclaims as he passes out.

* * *

An first chapter simalaer to Carfull what you dress as.


	2. Chapter 2

Xander lays his head on the table, trying to come to grips with what happened. He didn't mean to cause Giles to faint like that.

"I mean, it's bad enough that I have blonde hair. That, I can deal with. I really like the strength, that's actually cool, but now I have Buffy thoughts. Ewwww. Some of the stuff she thinks about Angel, and I lost 6 inches of height! Then there are those thoughts about Angel! Oh, man, I'm thinking about him again! What am I goanna do, Giles?"

Sipping a cup of tea to give himself a moment to think, Giles responds, "Hmmmmm. Perhaps you should be discussing this with Buffy, as it concerns her as well," he says, not really knowing what to say to him.

"What? I don't want to tell Buffy about this!" Xander gripes.

"Tell me about what, Xander?" Buffy says with a smile as she enters the library with Willow."Why are you still wearing that wig from last night?"

Willow grins "I don't know Buffy, it kinda looks good on him."

Buffy laughs.

If his head wasn't already on the table he would have dropped it down in defeat.

"Uh, guys, I kinda have a problem. I kinda remember everything from last night," he says, standing up next to them.

Willow compares Xander to Buffy. "Wow, that's not all mister! You're shorter, too!"

"Thanks, I didn't notice," he snarks back.

"Alright, spill, what do you mean you remember everything?" Buffy says.

"Like I said, I remember everything, all that happened last night, but that's not all, for a bonus prize I recall everything about you, Buff."

Willow looks at him. "Do you know what this means?"

"Yeah, it means I know what the inside of the girl's locker room looks like," he says with a lopsided grin.

The girls look at him in surprise, both of them smacking him on his arms.

"Xander!"

Xander did notice that the slayer smack didn't hurt like it used to, and he was sure she forgot to hold back.

Willow turns red as she realizes that since Buffy has seen her naked in the locker room that means now Xander has too.

"Just how much from me do you remember Xander Harris!?" Buffy mock glares at him.

"Well I remember this skating obsession and a certain haircut that..."

Before he can finish that sentence she covers his mouth. "Ok, I believe you. We will be having a talk..."

Giles starts cleaning his glasses."Buffy, there's more to this than just what he remembers," Giles says, handing her the crowbar. "Xander did this."

Buffy looks at Xander "Does this mean he's a slayer?"

Willow sits down. "Holy Cripes!"

Giles replies "Yes I believe it does."

Later after classes he was getting annoyed with his current body mostly due to the thoughts he has been getting mostly from Buffy's thoughts about the dead-boy Angel that's wrong never before in his five millennium has he ever seen something so wrong. 'Although that time I walked in on Harry getting fucked in the ass by Kara is pretty close to it.' He mused to himself.

"Ok, Giles, have you found anything to help me with this 'cause I'm stumped?" Xander asked almost complaining the first time in this universe he mused.

"No but I've got an old friend that I've got an call out to, hopefully he'll be able to fix it today or tomorrow." They were interrupted by a crash bang and muttering about killing The Professor with a rusty spoon, kangaroo, salt and a scythe. "That must be him now." Giles chirped happily completely unaware of the look of horror spreading over Xander's face as he recognized the voice.

"Ah Mr. Black it's been far too long" Guiles said to the figure limping into the library still muttering about killing The Professor in more and more inventive and gruesome ways.

"Oh come on Rupert it's only been twenty years is not that long for a being of my stature." Harry replied easily. "Although I did seem to misplace my brother about seventeen years ago and can't seem to find him. You haven't seen him have you sort of looks like that slayer over there only brown hair, taller and well male."

"Well he did look like that just yesterday but then he had to go and dress up as the current slayer and somehow got stuck as his costume." Giles said.

"Ok then let's see 'him' then." Harry replied with a disbelieving chuckle as he knew his little brothers scent from some other morons.

"Hey there Mr. Black it's been a while hasn't it."Xander said somewhat nervously.

"Ugh why didn't I choose nice timid Neville as my brother instead of you Xander why?" Harry monad after looking him over with his mage sight and recognizing their telltale aura under the mage sight he possesses.

"Because you love me, right?"Xander asked timidly.

Harry just sighed and shook his head resignedly wondering when he last pissed off Hades was.

An: please review need a beta reader no idea how to go about it


	3. Chapter 3

AN: need a Beta reader still

I had a review asking about how Mr. Black lost his brother please realize that he is the plaything of Murphy and the other gods so let's find out.

Disclaimer: I own a five year old computer and not Harry Potter (but I do own the movies) or Buffy.

* * *

Harry just sighed and shook his head resignedly wondering when he last pissed off Hades was, must be getting time to reassert his dominance over the gods. Especially if they are playing games with his family, again. 'Maybe the next time I go visit Dee Dee then rip destiny into tiny pieces afterwards ' Harry mused with a blood thirsty grin growing over his face.

"Ok so now why have you been in contact for the last seventeen years?" Harry asked Xander "you know how Henchgirl gets if when you don't call, not to mention that wife of yours." He ended in a mumble at the end.

"I lost my Zippo." Xander mumbled.

"That's fine but how did you become a slayer. I know that the slayer line isn't related to us at all, I mean I've been trying to get that damnable demon for century's dammed thing's almost as slippery as Worm… Wormtongue or was it Wormtail guess it doesn't matter now. He's dead as a dodo – I hope – but the bastard has escaped before."

"I thought you fixed that problem last millennium Death" Xander A.K.A. War stated.

"I thought that too last time War." Harry A.K.A. Death stated "but that was before Raven decided she wanted a 'pet' Beast Boy and when I said she couldn't she decided to release him to distract me so she could change him into Beast Girl then bound her as her familiar."

"So then what happened" Buffy asked before she could stop herself, shocking Harry who didn't notice her come into the library.

"Umm… oh yah."

* * *

Flashback-two thousand years ago

* * *

"Heyyyy daddy can I get a pet please?" The newly dubbed Raven Black asked Harry with an innocent expression on her face.

"I guess so I don't see any harm in it" harry said unsure of why he is feeling the same amount of dread as the last time Kara "took" him shopping 'at least until she dragged me into Victoria's Secret then I was on my best behavior' "Ok lets go you Apparate and I'll fowl your signature."

* * *

Meanwhile – in Titan Tower

* * *

"Hey Cyborg what do you think Raven's doing now" Beast Boy soon to be Girl asked moments before a black portal opened under him.

"Umm kidnapping you" Cyborg saying dryly was the last thing he heard.

* * *

At the pet shop

* * *

"I want this one dad." Raven stated firmly.

"Why are we in a demon pet shop? And why do you want him seems awfully scrawny." Harry asked with confusion on his face, wasn't he her friend. You don't keep friends as pets do you? Been far too long since I've mingled with mortals to know what's now considered acceptable.

"No buying Beast Boys as a pet I'm much too young to become a grandparent. I'm only three thousand years old." harry said with an air of finality in his voice.

"Fine No beast boys as my pet."Raven sulked 'But you didn't say anything about a Beast Girl' she mentally smirked.

* * *

Two weeks later

* * *

"Boss it's terrible it is I lost Wormtail. He's not due to be reincarnated for another two century's at least gotta go kill him boss." Grim said without as much of an accent as normal.

"Ughh I guess." Harry groaned from his spot tied up under Kara. "Give me fifteen twenty minutes to get ready" He confirmed.

Twenty five minutes later

"Now my pretty you will become my pet in every way." Raven cackled with glee as she watched her sex change ritual complete itself on the newly dubbed Beast Girl.

* * *

End Flashback

* * *

"… and then I couldn't release her back into the wild it would hurt her feelings now wouldn't it."

"But… But… but."Buffy stuttered

"I think you broke her brother dearest" Xander chuckled.

* * *

AN: Please review


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